A Year of Unfinished Business

This week marks the first birthday of Unfinished Business.

For a solid year now, every Thursday, whether it took 5 hours or 5 days, I’ve published my work here. Most of the essays are still up, but a few have been retired as I figured out which subjects my voice is best suited to discuss.  

I started UB during a very turbulent season of my life. I’d had notes and stories rattling around in my head for years. I even had some half-drafted for the book I kept saying I’d write 'someday'.

But I had never published anything under my own name.

By that point, I had already lived through some things: childhood sexual abuse, a father who had a real talent for cruelty and humiliation, a toxic first marriage, eating disorders, another sexual assault, and the abrupt loss of several people I loved.

None of that is what I want to be known for; frankly, everyone has a story.

I never want to be known for what I went through.

I want to be known for being resilient against my will.

In 2015, I married the love of my life and thought, finally, maybe I’d have some peace.

Instead, addiction and domestic violence brought children into our empty-nest home, and suddenly we were parenting again, this time kids with painful memories from their own ordeal.

We ended up in a contentious custody battle and the unfortunate estrangement from family members who wanted us to believe in change without evidence or even meaningful communication.

I gave up my job and probably more sanity than I care to admit, and became ‘home base’ for as long as it took for kids I wasn’t even related to by blood.

At the same time, I was getting close to fifty, and I knew I needed to get healthy again. Given my history of eating disorders, that was no small task.

But I set a goal and lost 63 pounds the right way, building the strength and endurance needed to keep up with very active kids and everything else that comes with trying to stabilize lives that had grown used to a shocking level of dysfunction:

Forensic evaluators.
Social workers.
Case workers.
Lawyers.
Doctors.
Principals
Teachers.
Coaches.
Psychiatrists.
Counselors.

Even after getting my health in check, I wasn’t getting any younger and the fight just.kept.dragging.on.

I still needed an outlet, and writing is where I think things through best.

So I sat down and started writing about all of it, along with pretty much anything else that came to mind.

The first piece I published was The Silence Was a Choice, about how family silence usually protects the wrong people.

And the more I wrote, the more I realized that movies and television had been helping me process things long before I had the right words for them.

Pop culture isn’t just entertainment. It’s not real life, obviously, but it often reflects real life more accurately than we expect. Sometimes it helps us understand things we’re still trying to figure out.

That’s why it shows up in my work so much.  

Over the past year, those ideas have turned into a body of work that became the cornerstones of this platform:

• Beautiful Lies, about the daydreams I escaped into as a child and the coping strategies I created from them
• Movies: Escape or Compass?, about how entertainment isn’t just a distraction, but also inspiration and tradition.
• The Easiest 50 Pounds I Ever Lost, about getting into the best shape of my life by trusting myself instead of everything I’d ever been taught about dieting.
• Age Against the Machine, about the difference between getting older and getting old.

Other weeks I write about whatever’s going on, whether its award shows, the Super Bowl, holiday stress, or a random week in my life.  The everyday stuff still deserves some commentary, and I’ve never had a shortage of opinions.

Just ask my husband.

One year later, some things have changed dramatically.

The custody fight is over. One child returned home, the other chose to stay here.

The ensuing family dynamics are what I’d politely describe as ‘rough waters’. I’ve mostly stepped back from that side of things because The Balkan Storm has infinitely more patience for navigating it than I do.

Our home is dramatically quieter these days, but somehow no less busy.

A year ago, this platform was mostly an idea and a collection of writing I was too afraid to even put my name on. Now it’s the foundation of a major part of my life, growing far more than I ever anticipated.  

I even managed to get a ticket to San Diego Comic-Con this year. For anyone who follows pop culture, that’s basically the Mecca and is notoriously hard to get into. But for someone who writes about pop culture as much as I do, it feels a little like visiting the source material.

The fact that I got it on my first try still feels like it was meant to happen.

Some things haven’t changed at all.

I’ve maintained my weight loss, although some days are definitely harder than others. The toxic mindset around food and body image never really goes away.

As the Ancient One said to Mordo, “We never lose our demons, we only learn to live above them.”

(C'mon, did you really think I was gonna get through this without a Marvel reference?)

The Balkan Storm and I are still going strong and will be celebrating our 11^th anniversary this May, proof that we’re pretty committed to this whole “for better or worse” gig.

No matter what life throws at us, we’ve always chosen to face it together.
And that will never change.

My daughter has also been part of this year in ways that matter more than she probably even realizes. Even while dealing with her own life, she manages to step up for us when we need it.

Not only that, she was half of the reason we went viral last month.

When I started Unfinished Business, I wasn’t out to “build a brand”. I started it because writing forces me to stop knee-jerk reacting and start understanding.

And God knows, after the last few years, that’s something I needed more than ever.

If someone else reads one of these pieces and thinks, “Okay, it’s not just me,” then I’ve already accomplished what I set out to do.

Over the past year, readers have come here from places I never expected. Many are now subscribers. Some even support my work financially through tips and memberships. Others just stop by every Thursday to see what I wrote that week.

I see the numbers, the emails, and the comments, and I never take any of it for granted. However you found your way here, I’m grateful that you did. 

If you’ve been reading for a while but haven’t subscribed yet, consider this your invitation.

Subscribing is free.
Subscribers get first access to new pieces, delivered directly every Thursday, and a monthly behind-the-scenes newsletter.

Members get more: full access to every piece here, along with extended essays and the occasional bonus content.

Either way, I’m glad you’re here.

Why does subscribing matter?
Subscribing is the easiest way to help this platform keep growing and make sure these stories keep reaching the places they’re meant to go.  

Because the goal has never been about the platform.

It will always be about the connection.  

Heather Papovich is the voice behind Unfinished Business, a weekly essay series where real life meets pop culture, and how to get through both without (mostly) losing it.