So… how’re all those New Year’s resolutions going?
No, really. The ones you swore you meant this time.
Every year, we do this thing where we pick a date, and that’s gonna be the magical moment when everything changes. We’re gonna lose the weight, get in shape, get that better job, find that soulmate, blah blah blah.
I looked it up: the top resolutions are always the same: exercise more, improve mental health, eat healthier, save money, and lose weight.
In other words, become a completely different person almost overnight. And in that cold and dark NYE ‘what now?’ phase, it almost feels productive when we say this time I’m serious.
And for the first month or so of the year, the gym is packed with those trying to make good on that promise.
They don’t know what the hell they’re doing, but in that desperate race to make up for lost time, they push themselves harder, faster, like they can close that gap between who they are and who they think they have to be.
And that’ll keep you going…for a short time, at least.
It’s not so easy to keep that energy when you wake up exhausted, sore, maybe a little injured, and trying to ignore the little voice telling you this whole thing already feels like a chore.
'I’ll go tomorrow’ becomes the promise until you eventually hope people forget how much you bragged online about ever going.
It’s not as much fun to save money when that means constantly telling yourself ‘no’ to things that make your day a little better. When you deny yourself that Smart TV, or that pick-me-up from Starbucks, or just one teensy little Target run.
It's not so easy to eat healthier when you’re stoically chewing on carrot sticks and premeasured chicken while everyone around you is elbow-deep in cheesy pizza.
And mental health? That’s probably the worst because it means actually dealing with yourself.
So by March, you’re back to “old you,” i.e. ‘real you’, but now you feel like a failure.
I began the year with a goal to ‘lock in,’ focusing on optimizing my site and achieving specific metrics, while doing a better job of self-care.
Oh, and trying to go from moderate to super low carb.
Right.
I’m currently arguing with a developer about growth mechanics while downing Peeps with coffee and trying to justify it as a breakfast pastry.
Real me loves carbs, what can I say?
Now, I don’t say ‘real you’ like it’s a bad thing. It's not.
The problem is that most people assume it’s a linear path from Goal to Result, and when that doesn't happen, they assume it means they suck at it.
It doesn't.
And I say that as someone well-versed in ‘black or white thinking.
I still struggle with it.
Typically, when people set a goal, they tend to focus more on THAT setpoint instead of the HOW to get there. They rely too much on conjuring up strict self-discipline rather than changing the way they want to live, ie, ‘real you’.
That sort of forced effort will, over time, burn through whatever discipline you possess and take your motivation with it.
I tried that approach with weight loss once; sure, I lost the weight, but because I hadn’t cultivated sustainable habits, I gained it all back with interest, along with an eating disorder and a nice dash of dysmorphia.
So yeah, don't do that.
