Clean Break

After nearly three years, it’s over. The dust has finally settled, literally and figuratively.

The younger of the two kids we’ve been raising packed her things, jumped into her mother’s car, and left. There were no dramatic goodbyes or tears. Barely a 'see ya'.

The custody battle is finally over, the house is quiet, and everyone keeps saying to me, "You must be so relieved."

Oh, most definitely. But I'm not at peace; unfortunately, my body still hasn't fully processed that it’s finally over.

Cortisol is still hanging on, which is just…lovely. My eating disorder demons have been a joy to navigate.

Still, I push through it, but the body really does keep the score.

Every morning, I used to wake up preparing for battle, each day another test of patience, boundaries, and endurance.

You can’t explain what it’s like to raise a child who doesn’t trust love unless you’ve done it. In her mind, if she could make you the enemy first, she’d never have to risk being hurt again.