4 min read

I’m Not Starting a Food Cult, I Swear

I’m Not Starting a Food Cult, I Swear

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I didn’t throw out all the cereal or have a dramatic pantry cleanse.
I didn’t shame my husband for marinating meat in canola oil.
And the kids still drink a real soda every day.

But over the past few months, I’ve been subtly swapping out things in our kitchen, and so far, no one’s complaining. In fact, they’re asking for more.

As part of this new process of living and eating better, I'm focused on eating food that doesn’t make me feel like garbage and is maybe a little closer to its natural origin while balancing the real-life needs and wants of a very opinionated household.  Just better stuff, fewer chemicals, and zero granola-head vibes.


It all started with drinking water...ok, technically, it started with diet soda. I was drinking way too much of it, which was both bad for me and stupid expensive. So I challenged myself to cut down to one a day and start drinking water infused with berries, cucumber, mint, whatever felt most spa-like in the fridge.

Eventually, I didn’t need the flavors. The food prep for my drinking water was a bit too time-consuming for me. Also, cucumber seeds kept sneaking through my so-called "fine-mesh" strainer. Which is not a great feeling when you're running on the treadmill at the gym and you get that weird ick in your teeth.

Anyway, the day came when I decided to see how many hours I could go without a soda at all. (Gamifying works for me.) That ended up being the last day I ever drank a soda.

One small change. That’s all it took to flip the switch.


By the way, if you want more stories like this, I send them out each week. You can hop on here. No kale puns, I promise.


Next, I started focusing on ingredients. I wasn’t on a diet or “eating clean.”
God, I hate that term. “Clean eating” has turned into this “holier-than-thou” hierarchy that implies anything else is dirty or shameful.

Like, if you’re not grinding your own almond flour or foraging organic moss, you’re somehow failing. No thank you.

I just wanted to see what would happen if I ate food with fewer ingredients and fewer chemicals in it. So, I made changes that felt reasonable and sustainable. Slightly smarter, that’s all. I’m not trying to be an almond mom over here.


I loooove popcorn. My husband and I used to stock up on microwave bags like bread and milk during a Kentucky snowstorm (IYKYK).

One day, I started wondering if there was a less…lined-in-chemicals version. I remembered how excited I used to get as a kid when my mom brought out our air popper. I’d pour the kernels in and watch them spin around the little tube until they exploded... It was magic.

Yes, I was very easily entertained as a child.

So, in a fit of nostalgia and curiosity, I bought an air popper. This one stirs itself, looks like a spaceship, and somehow makes popcorn taste better than the bagged stuff. Here’s the one I use.

And I watch the process intensely because, as it turns out, I am still very easily entertained as an adult.

The Balkan Storm, who good-naturedly mocked my popcurn “extra-ness,” now specifically requests it on movie night. I pop it in coconut oil, drizzle it in real butter (although it's just as good without it, honestly, and finish with a pinch of flaky sea salt.

The house smells amazing, the vibe is peak cozy, and honestly? It’s just really good popcorn.


My husband still thought vegetable oil was “heart-healthy.” To be fair, most of us did, thanks to 1990s marketing. But he was up for the experiment, so I started replacing things as we ran out. Now, we’ve got avocado oil, beef tallow, and coconut oil in our rotation.

I’m even considering making homemade mayo.
Maybe.

We also only use real butter, cholesterol be damned. My husband trained in classical French cuisine, and if there’s one thing I appreciate most from that kitchen style, it’s that fat isn’t the enemy. Flavor matters.

The French don’t demonize food. They slow down. They eat real meals. I’m not trying to become Parisian, but I am trying to eat like a grown-ass adult who respects her food and her gut.

If that’s clean eating, cool. But I just think of it as eating like a normal person.  


There is Cinnamon Toast Crunch in our pantry. There are sodas in the fridge.
And guess what? I still eat some crap sometimes. Like, I love Peeps. Love them. Easter’s coming soon, and there will be carnage.

The second I turn this into a lifestyle regime, I lose all credibility.

It took me literal decades to realize this doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
Real food and real fun can coexist.
It’s called balance. And shockingly, it works.

I’m not churning my own butter. But maybe I’ll ditch bottled salad dressings or make my own sauces when I have the time (read: rare).
Or maybe I just keep doing what I’ve been doing, one discreet swap at a time.
Start small. See how it feels.

And ot only does our health benefit when we stop living off fake oils and plastic packaging, but the Earth also benefits.

I’m not saving the world, but I’ve downgraded my environmental crime from felonies to misdemeanors. (ba dum tish).

And maybe that's the lesson: fix what you can, where you are, and let the butterfly effect handle the rest.


Heather P. is an essayist and longtime ghostwriter publishing unapologetic stories about trauma, reinvention, and the absurdity of real life.

Creator of Unfinished Business, a platform reaching readers in over 20 countries for its dark humor, emotional precision, and refusal of performative healing, whether the story is about grief, growth, or just getting through Tuesday.